Why am I so down these days? Well, it's nothing in such a life to be happy about. It's great that I have several friends. But what type of relaxing are we usually choose - these are: cafe, home of Stas, that suppose chatting usual topics, litres of beer, watching stupid films, and time to time it's going to cinema. I like cinema but such invariable way of spending our holidays, our free time - It's boring! It's irritating when it's always invariable. And what is the worst: I myself totally don't have a clue how to spend my time. I don't visiting night or dancing club. I don't pick up girls at streets. I don't understand such things at all.

I have a job. It's not bad, but I'm not fully satisfied with it. I'm not a good worker. Maybe I cannot fulfil myself due to my laziness. I almost became a hikikomori *. But the one that is able to communicate to people, isn't totally frightened to go outside and has a job. Actually even my English is horrible, but I have to write it all down in English just for keeping this entry in non-private mode.

Autumn melancholy... Actually I liked it. Well, I'll try to be honest: I really liked it usually. But I became too old and don't have a time to like such the mood and such the atmosphere now. I have somehow to find a way to do something with myself. Somehow. I have to.

* Those, who watched "Welcome to NHK", know what does it mean